Listen to Me!

Tips for getting someone to listen to you...

Get Ready: Set the stage

• Let the person know you have something important to tell them.
• If it's important, let her/him know that what you want to say is confidential!
• Be ready to negotiate the time. Is the other person available and willing? How much time will you need? (Try to limit your first talking to 10 minutes; you can always negotiate more later.)
• Ask yourself the following:

  Do I want someone to just listen and not comment?

  Do I want advice?

  Do I want to know how someone else handled a similar experience?

Get Set:

Make sure your stress level is down as much as possible. Use your knowledge of how to control your breathing. Excitement as well as fear mobilizes your body, and sometimes that causes your words to come out with a higher stress level. This can make it more difficult for the other person to really listen to you from a neutral place. Of course, there will be some level of stress and/or excitement or fear because you are trying something new. Don't let that stop you from communicating as best you can. Let the other person know that you are aware of your stress but that you want to tell them what's on your mind. That in itself can calm you enough to proceed.

Go:

• Avoid generalizations
• Be specific
• Speak for yourself
• Remember to breathe!