More is not necessarily better when it comes to good writing. Needless words in sentences can slow down your readers and make your ideas hard to follow. You can improve your writing when you revise by omitting extra words or phrases that don't add to the meaning of a sentence.
The chart below contains several words and phrases that needlessly repeat ideas. Next to each wordy expression is a suggestion for revision or an effective, shortened way of saying the same thing.
Wordy Expression
|
Revision Suggestion
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because of the fact that
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because, since
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in spite of the fact that
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although
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on account of the fact that
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because, since
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owing to the fact that
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because, since
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being that
|
delete; do not replace
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it happens that
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delete; do not replace
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it would seem that
|
delete; do not replace
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the point is
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delete; do not replace
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the reason is
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delete; do not replace
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the thing is
|
delete; do not replace
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what I mean is
|
delete; do not replace
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what I want is
|
I want
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what I want to say is
|
delete; do not replace
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Some needless word groups begin with
who is, that is, or
which is. You may be able to omit these expressions and rearrange the order of the words in the sentence without changing the sentence's meaning.
Wordy
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We try to arrive at Cape Cod by 6 A.M. to avoid the incoming traffic, which is horrendous.
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Revised
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We try to arrive at Cape Cod by 6 A.M. to avoid the horrendous incoming traffic.
|
|
Wordy
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Cape Cod's Province Lands bike trail is a route that is scenic and challenging.
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Revised
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Cape Cod's Province Lands bike trail is a scenic and challenging route.
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